The thesis When people are getting the chances to be employed and paid what is enough for them to have a good life, their Criminal tendencies will decrease, then the crime rate will decrease. critical questions 1- How can the chances be distributed equally on people? 2- what is the range of wage that people need in order to have a good life? 3- is there employed people who are not having a good life because they are not paid enough? 4- What make people who have jobs tend to be criminals, and also the ones who don’t? 5- how bad does the unemployment and low wages affect the crime rate of the nation? the professor’s comment on the thesis and critical questions that you need to put in consideration and modify them based on that: My question is, is this correct? Is crime rate connected to employment and pay? This seems all really vague. Can you develop this more? What does “criminal tendencies” even mean? There are so many kinds of crime and it’s wildly flawed to assume “crime” is only committed by the poor. Wealthy people commit atrocious crimes in America. Millionaires commit crime. Develop this more. It just doesn’t really make sense what you’re trying to argue. I have made a similer assignement and have had these points as my feedback. (these are the things that you have to avoid and never do in writing this paper is) : Here’s the issue. This is a 5 page essay and your actual argument only covers a page. A lot of your essay involves EXPLAINING the issues rather than ADDRESSING the issue (which would be your main argument.) You have to think about how to balance out research and information and your own arguments and analysis. Think of it like this: if you took out all the information that does not belong to you, how much of the essay left is actually your own original thoughts, analysis and argument? the last thing is the grading criteria, content (50%) mechanics (25%) organization (25%) citation has to be included in a separate page at the end. everything has to be in MLA formate.
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